Forum etiquette

[Big Ears]

I've not read the forums Ts & Cs yet but I'm sure included in them is one about how we behave to each other.

I won't name names but there is a serious overstepping of boundaries in this forum.

I am on 14 other forums of various types as I like the genre as being disabled it allows me a broader field of friendships.

I speak to forum members from all over the world and I have never come across so much aggressive posting from member to member.

I have read and experienced many things in my 74 years, I have been to many places where the public is never allowed.

It's just a forum for like minded people to mix and explore resolutions to problems, it is not a place to criticise one another, it should be possible to have an opinion that may disagree with someone else's, we should also be able to discuss that difference calmly without accusations.

What I see in this forum is a very small number of members who seem to think they can do and say what they like.

Can we just try to be civil at least, it is what you signed up for after all.

 

[decrep]

You should try my surfing/windsurfing forum. We have all sorts on there and it can be very disconcerting.
I find this place to be very polite and sane.
But as anywhere, suspected trolls aren't given a lot of leeway

 

[Big Ears]

I'm on a bikers forum and there is banter, SERIOUS banter and the swear limiter is OFF, no one actually goes off on one to give anyone grief.

This site is fine but being spoiled by some aggressive accusatory and abusive posts.

I'm hoping that some thinking might happen from this thread to stop it from carrying on.

 

[tsedge]

In general, this forum is very civil and the discussions are productive.

Sometimes something is said that triggers somebody else and we end up in a long boring (for everyone else) back and forth over the issue.

I believe the best response is:

a) Resist the temptation to respond in the thread publicly - this is between the two of you, not everyone.

b) Switch to a private message to the other person and say "You appear to be saying "x" about my message, have I understood you correctly?" and then try to amicably sort it out.

c) If you can't resolve it there, or get no response, in your public thread response don't rise to whatever was said, respond with: "clearly we see it differently", "we have a disagreement then", "i think we should leave that there".

Remember, just because somebody says something you disagree with or don't like, that doesn't mean you have to reply.

Most of these people you will never meet and so who cares what they think or say about you? They are not your judge! ?

Be well and try to focus on two things when you post:

1. What can I say that will help / entertain other people here?
2. How can I be kind in the way that I do it?

NB: I am of course an imperfect practitioner of this myself, but I have been working on it and I believe I have gotten better.

 

[salty]

I find this forum excellent. I love a bit of friendly banter. I can usually judge pretty much straight away who I can have a laugh with. The same as you can in real life. But your always gonna get the odd numpty on forum's. ??
Now get stuffed the lot of you! ??

 

[Big Ears]

Well as we are dropping into actual events which I wanted to avoid.

I did ask for some evidence, not arrived, I did offer to go to PM ditto, some people just want a public display which I'd rather avoid, but I am not going to be accused of this or that in public, so I have to respond in public, I have never backed down from such things and at 74 it's too late now.

But I don't tend to continue these things, I respond not initiate, I defend not attack & when the problems stops I am as amicable as anyone else, I consider myself to be a very helpful person and will always do whatever I can to help anyone if I can or point them in the right direction

 

[tsedge]

Well as we are dropping into actual events which I wanted to avoid.

I did ask for some evidence, not arrived, I did offer to go to PM ditto, some people just want a public display which I'd rather avoid, but I am not going to be accused of this or that in public, so I have to respond in public, I have never backed down from such things and at 74 it's too late now.

But I don't tend to continue these things, I respond not initiate, I defend not attack & when the problems stops I am as amicable as anyone else, I consider myself to be a very helpful person and will always do whatever I can to help anyone if I can or point them in the right direction

Understood. That said, responding in public does continue these things - that's the problem.

You are not here under your real name (at least I assume so!), so I don't really get why you feel you need to defend yourself publicly. We don't know who you are.

You are not on trial. Nobody here is your judge, even if they think they are. Ignoring messages you don't like is often the easiest and quickest way to shut things down - and people will often give you more credit than if you get involved.

Anyway, this is just my opinion and who cares what I think! ? Please enjoy your day.

 

[Big Ears]

How dare you suggest that is NOT my real name Sir...

No of course it am not.

Kev is though.

I only responded as I am on this forum and I do care what other members think of me, why wouldn't I? it also goes to my credibility being called a liar going forward, so it could not be ignored, I bear no animosity to anyone but my responses are by nature going to be guided by the attack.

No one died, tomorrow is today already.

 

[tsedge]

I only responded as I am on this forum and I do care what other members think of me, why wouldn't I? it also goes to my credibility being called a liar going forward, so it could not be ignored, I bear no animosity to anyone but my responses are by nature going to be guided by the attack.

I judge people by what they say, not by what others say about them. So if somebody calls someone a name, that affects my opinion of the caller, not the target. And then my opinion of the target is informed by how they respond, with no response at all being a perfectly good option.

Your credibility isn't affected by what anyone else contributes, only by your own contributions.

Things aren't true because they are said and unchallenged. They are just one person's assertions. This isn't face-to-face conversation and nor is it the playground.

It is trivial to ignore people whose contributions aren't helpful, the forum will even hide their posts for you.

I'll stop preaching now, before everyone gets totally bored. But I wanted you to know that not everyone sees these things the same way.

 

[DBedford]

Why did we get here in the first place??

 

[Big Ears]

I judge people by what they say, not by what others say about them. So if somebody calls someone a name, that affects my opinion of the caller, not the target. And then my opinion of the target is informed by how they respond, with no response at all being a perfectly good option.

Your credibility isn't affected by what anyone else contributes, only by your own contributions.

Things aren't true because they are said and unchallenged. They are just one person's assertions. This isn't face-to-face conversation and nor is it the playground.

It is trivial to ignore people whose contributions aren't helpful, the forum will even hide their posts for you.

I'll stop preaching now, before everyone gets totally bored. But I wanted you to know that not everyone sees these things the same way.

Good advice, I do often ignore others who should know better, but there are limits to that.

 

[Bricktop X PWR]

Understood. That said, responding in public does continue these things - that's the problem.

You are not here under your real name (at least I assume so!), so I don't really get why you feel you need to defend yourself publicly. We don't know who you are.

You are not on trial. Nobody here is your judge, even if they think they are. Ignoring messages you don't like is often the easiest and quickest way to shut things down - and people will often give you more credit than if you get involved.

Anyway, this is just my opinion and who cares what I think! ? Please enjoy your day.

And I should know.
What?
Bricktop suspended again?
? (It's not funny)
It really isn't.
Or is it?

 

[maskull]

From my experience , this forum is far more friendly and troll free than others

 

[Big Ears]

And I should know.
What?
Bricktop suspended again?
? (It's not funny)
It really isn't.
Or is it?

I got suspended for the first time about a month ago a selfritious mod closed a long running thread that I had started years ago just because a new member that he liked couldn't find it even though it was titled to include what would be searched for if she had a clue, a member I introduced to another forum so I had no problem with her though.

 

[T1 Terry]

My apologies if I triggered the last event ... that wasn't my intention, I just wanted to point out that some things need to be fact checked before putting your name to them.
No one knows what the person on the other keyboard is going through that might trigger a response that could be out of character for them ..... or maybe they use their keyboard as a pressure release and who ever copes the sharp end of their attack didn't deserve it or did something that triggered it .... without realising ....

Standing around the campfire, you can read the person you are talking to .... well, sort of ..... but around the virtual campfire ..... things get said in the heat of the moment that probably would never be said face to face ...... It's just one of the things we need to keep in mind when we chat on these places .... there is a lot of great information shared here as well ..... so it is a bit of give and take sometimes .... says Terry who has gone off far too many times

T1 Terry

 

[Big Ears]

My apologies if I triggered the last event ... that wasn't my intention, I just wanted to point out that some things need to be fact checked before putting your name to them.
No one knows what the person on the other keyboard is going through that might trigger a response that could be out of character for them ..... or maybe they use their keyboard as a pressure release and who ever copes the sharp end of their attack didn't deserve it or did something that triggered it .... without realising ....

Standing around the campfire, you can read the person you are talking to .... well, sort of ..... but around the virtual campfire ..... things get said in the heat of the moment that probably would never be said face to face ...... It's just one of the things we need to keep in mind when we chat on these places .... there is a lot of great information shared here as well ..... so it is a bit of give and take sometimes .... says Terry who has gone off far too many times

T1 Terry

None needed Terry,

 

[Gadget Geek]

I always try to avoid non factual based opinion, and if someone doesn't like what I've posted, supply referenced material. If that doesn't work, just be the better person and walk away.

Also, keyboard does not give you a tone of voice or body language, and what you type can be misinterpreted as being aggressive, mocking, condescending, etc, when it may hav been perfectly innocent. And don't forget, if someone continually irritates you, you can always filter them out and bring your blood pressure back to normal. (A liitle smiley face never hurt either )

 

[Big Ears]

I have been known to say something dead pan to some I know really well who can take it and give it back without upset.

So you have been warned, I have a Wicked sense of humour and can't abide miserable know-alls.

 

[siteguru]

I have been known to say something dead pan to some I know really well who can take it and give it back without upset.

So you have been warned, I have a Wicked sense of humour and can't abide miserable know-alls.

Oops! I'd better mind my Ps and Qs ....

 

[Bam Bam]

From my experience , this forum is far more friendly and troll free than others

Agree it is a welcome Alternative to twitter/X. Each site has its pros and cons. Some are very quiet/dead. This has a good spirited back and forth that I really appreciate.